a few memories that have come and gone
But still make me chuckle and make my day <3
“Humor is just another defense against the universe.”
“Tell me about the electricity now, what happened?
- Oh. Nothing. I was bored. I took my axe and chopped down a utility pole. It didn’t take but two minutes.”
me: “Hi I’m Hailey McRumster”
father: “Wine is just a fruit juice”
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
healy’s motto:”Here’s to those who wish us well, those who don’t can go to hell”
me: “Jip up my Zacket”
me: “I’m mentally Decapitated”
caitlin: “hey hey hey hitler gives vegetarian painters that want to kill everyone in the world a bad name. i’m president of the vegetarian painters that want to kill everyone in the world association (also known as VPTWTKEITWA) & we revoked his membership.”
vince: “Ok first I would take you and sit you in a chair. Then I would get some rope. Then a blind fold. Then tie your hands to the chair and blind you with the blind fold so you can’t see what I’m going to grab…..(you can see where I’m going with this I’m sure.) Then I’d put some music on in the back ground. And turn up the country music on full blast and you’d be stuck in the chair with nowhere to go!
me: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
“Cockroach… Cockroach… Cockroach… OH SHIT!”
court: “oh man… hotness overload today! i can’t even take it anymore! i think my brain is over heating… flames… flames… and it just hurts and.. and flames….”
“ash-uh-ley”
“I didn’t know ashley had 3 syllables”
“It does now”
“dork a-s-h-l-e-y dork
or (since dictionaries somtimes have two spellings)
dork e-l-i-s-e dork “
*lights turn off*
father: “Son of a Bitch!”
sara: “Uncle Pat don’t you mean son of a nutcraker?”
father: “No i mean SON OF A BITCH!”
Why is the Rum Gone!
caitlin: “Hailey McRumster YOU are why the rum is gone.”
matt: “and thanks for making me smile, asshole”
devon: “what’s going on? it sounds like there’s 5 people in your room”
me: “nope its just me and lorraine, we do voices”
me: “hop, jip, skump”
lorraine: “You don’t squint right”
elise: “Do you have a bobby pin ashley?”
me: “No, but there was one in the Dining Hall Yesterday”
lorraine: “what a nice bunny”
dee: “LOOK AT THAT BUNNY!
lorraine: “why does he have a hatchet?”
“You are such a Fuckass!
-Did you just call me a fuckass? You can go suck a Fuck!
Oh, please, tell me Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?! ”
sharkie the stufed shark [aka lorraine]: “get off me crazy woman! touch me one more time, see what happens. thats what i thought. leave me be. im jus chillin.”
me: *groan in fear*
me: “i just realized i’m having a conversation with a stuffed shark, yep i’m SO the normal one.”
me: “I JUST WANT IT TO STOP, AND GET BETTER!”
caitlin: “well if you stop, how WILL you get better? It’s a logical question and explination”
me: “i love you caitlin”
me: “woah… it was spanish but it sounded german!”
lorraine: “Rrrrruff Rrrruff COMIDA!”
me: “hitler dogs!”
“What Freud said about the Irish is: We’re the only people who are impervious to psychoanalysis.”
lorraine: im popping open my hamper!
me: YOUR POOPING OVER YOUR HAMSTER!!! WHAT!
mother: turn on the light and look at it sideways
nicole: that’s what she said!!!
matt: t
matt: oops..
me: and crumpets?
matt: LMFAO that was great
matt: Pwned Bitch! i love swim
me: naps are awesome.
matt: waking up 2 minutes ago is fun too
me: fuck you
matt: LMAO. Now get your charger!
nicole: damn i nailed that one give me a fucking hammer!
me: stop playing with your yo-yo and help me kill tyler!
*while playing Mario Smash Bros.*
matt: tyler come here i wanna try something
tyler: your gunna try to kill me
matt: no its merely a scientific experiment, i want to figure out what this move does.
matt: ok, hold up…
*matt does wrong move* *matt kills tyler*
tyler: What The Fuck Man!
matt: shit i didn’t mean to do that move!
me/matt: *die of laughter*
tyler: dude that was cold.
me: ok so now can you help me kill him with out you playing with your bat and yo-yo?
matt: no!
tyler: haha your partner sucks ash im sorry *all laugh*
Where’s my chicken sandwich? FUCK YOU BITCH!
father: Anything that bleeds for a whole week and still survives, is fucking scary!
matt: Haha i can talk shit about you and you can’t talk back!
me: *grabs phone types “jerk!”
*sends it and as i send* matt: and don’t bother texting it either i wont answer
me: *texts* “Fuck!”
matt: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA i knew you’d say that!
“What do you want? I know what I want, cause I’m holding it in my hands.”
“Tell a women the truth without words, kind of a signal u send out, the women just picks it up.
-And what’s the truth?
That kissing her would be the end of life, as I knew it”
matt: DIE ALREADY!!!
me: nope
matt: Ex-fucking-actly
me: It can eat your face!!!
matt: Simply grand, lovely thinking ash!
me: Happy to help
Murphys Law
